Which fortune cookie message are you?

Which fortune cookie message are you?

So maybe you were reluctant to get your fortune told if it meant shuffling through the crowd in Wong Tai Sin and getting burnt by smoky joss sticks? In that case, you can still get your fortune read for the year to come! We have invited Our Feng Shui Master Shifu Hung Maow, a master of the ancient art of reading fortune sticks, Kau Cim, to decode your chinese new year fortune messages.

Since there are no literal sticks in this cyber-temple, simply clear your mind, meditate on sleeping monkeys, and pick a number between 1 and 12. Then let Shifu Hung Maow and Foodpanda interpret your advice for the Year of the Monkey.

Invest in Chinese stocks when female pigs can climb trees.(豬乸會上樹) [juū lá wúi sheung shuu]
Literal translationAttempting to achieve the impossible is like a sow climbs a tree. Simply unrealistic and waste of time.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: It is a mission impossible that a pig can fly (unless of course it’s a spider pig from the Simpsons). This year if you can make a pig fly, perhaps it will be time for you to win a nobel prize.
2. You will have a good year unless a ghost slaps the back of your head (鬼拍後尾枕) [gwai park hau mei jum]
Literal translation: Unintentionally revealing a secret might give you more than a slap on the back of your head.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: Keep your head down and mouth shut to avoid misunderstanding or misfortune. Also, avoid high-fiving drunken westerners.

3. This year is a year for minimizing risks - don’t try to pull a cow up a tree (拉牛上樹).[lāi ngàu sheung shuu]
Literal translation: If you attempt the impossible (pulling a cow up a tree) you might be wasting your energy or money.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: We can assume how much effort it would take to pull a cow up a tree. So why not chop down the tree and make a chopping board and slice the beef on it instead? Seems more effortless that way.

4. This year your hard work might be overshadowed by authority or power. Don't let the big stone squash the crab to death (大石笮死蟹) [dai sek jark sai hai]
Literal translation: You might be forced to bow down to power or pressure

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: Instead of crushing a crab with a giant stone, there are smarter ways of killing a crab. For instance, you can freeze it and then put it in cool water before turning up the heat and boil. That way, the crab won’t even know what is coming. Play smart with little effort and you will earn yourself a big delicious meal.

5. Spend less time on the phone and making telephone congee.煲電話粥 [bo deen wah juuk]

Literal translation: Making ‘telephone congee’ means spending hours on the phone

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: Boiling telephone congee is no longer in fashion. It would be wise for you to pay attention to your health by cleansing your body and palate the chinese way: make a congee with preserved egg and pork meat. It tastes better than boiled plastic. I guarantee!

6. This year is the year of investment and return. You will use a knife to saw a tree. (刀仔鋸大樹) [doa jai gur dai shuu]

Literal translation: You can achieve big return by giving minimal effort.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: If you receive this lucky message, you will stir up a big harvest with little effort.  Are you by any chance the son or daughter of a property magnate?

7. Be aware of gossip or you will eat a dead cat.(食死貓) [sic séi maow]

Literal translation: Be careful not to become a scapegoat for someone else’s crime or wrong doing.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: As a herbivore, I don’t harm cute kitties or condone eating people’s pets. Collect your luck from the lucky cats and avoid furballs in your throat.

8. Increase your creativity and think out of the box. Then an elephant will fly across the river.飛象過河 [fey jeung gwor hor]

Literal translation: In chinese chess, the elephant can never fly across the river which means not playing by the rules.

Hung Maow’s interpretation: An elephant flying across the river is definitely breaking the rules of physics. But sometimes, that what you need in life: This year, think outside the box and you may get an unexpected surprise.
9. Your financial sheet is looking green this year! Put a pig in a bamboo cage and let it enter the water. 豬籠入水 [juu lung yup shui]

Literal translation: A caged pig enters the water – you will become rich as your investments will swell like a soaking pig.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: If you receive this lucky message, be prepared to be filthy rich! Although hopefully your wealth will expand more quickly than a rotting pig carcass.

10. Pay full focus when you are on the job or you will become the stir-fried squid. 炒魷魚 [chau yau yuu]

Literal translation: To stir fry squid means you will fire someone or get fired.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: Stir frying a squid at work will definitely give you some stinky impact in your working environment. If you are an employee, don’t slack off. If you are in management, and there is someone you consider firing, offer them a plate of stir fried squid and see if their performance improves.

11. Things are not always what they seem. Be careful in business if you see a gigantic toad hopping around the street. (咁大隻蛤乸隨街跳) [gum dai jek gap lá chui gai tiu]

Literal translation: Seeing a big toad hopping around on the street means something is too good to be true

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: If you see a giant toad hopping around, consider going to Vision Express. Or perhaps hide in a bunker as clearly the post-apocalyptic world has begun.

12. Be honest about the mistakes you make and all will be forgiven. Don’t avoid the consequences by pulling the cat’s tail. 扯貓尾 [che maow mei]

Literal translation: Don’t lie your way out of a problem.

Shifu Hung Maow’s interpretation: If you have a cat, you will know pulling a tail can result to horrific pain and scratches and endless sulking. If you have any sense, you will respect and honor the situation or problem you created. You can start by buying tasty treats and snacks after apologizing for your mistakes. Over time, your cat or colleagues might just forget and forgive.

Azure Lorraine |
Contributing Editor

Azure Lorraine is an adventurous food and life lover from sunny Cali. She enjoys writing about anything from food, lifestyle to mindfulness. Follow her scrumptious and vibrant journey around the world on Instagram @azuyuzu852.

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Article Written By Team foodpanda

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